Before I became a SAHM, I had been with a particular Statutory Board for 6+ years. Before that, I was a graphic designer for a couple of years. All in all, it was almost 10 years of earning my own income and being financially independent.
When I decided to pause my career and stay home, I knew it meant having to deal with no income for a while and that the somewhat luxurious life we lived – buying new things ever so often, eating out/ordering in, taking a taxi everywhere – would have to change. Covid19 helped by not allowing us to travel, but the rest we had to manage on our own.
I immediately became more aware of my spendings, reminding myself that I no longer was earning. I cooked more often, walked/cycled/bussed more often, shopped less even. It has been okay so far, thankfully, and I hope we’ll be okay for a while more.
Personally, what hit me more was having to mentally adjust to the fact that my spending power had significantly reduced. Losing some of that power meant losing some…autonomy? More than before I now had to run it by H when I wanted to get something (not for his permission, but I felt like if it were a big ticket item it was something we now had to discuss rather than me just deciding to spend). Sometimes when I think about it I feel uncomfortable, even awkward, but I know that it’s simply because it’s not what I’ve been used to doing for the past decade at least. Other times I feel humbled because it has sort of forced us to make decisions together more, and not just act independently “because I can afford it”.
That being said, I truthfully do miss getting a paycheck every month! As Singaporeans, we’ve been raised to feel impaired if we’re not earning a salary and as much as I disagree with that, it does get to me sometimes. I don’t miss my job, I just miss the salary!
But in the deepest deep of my heart, I know that I would choose being a non-earning stay-home mom over and over and over again.
