Would I consider myself as a mum raising her kids overseas? You tell me: I was born in Singapore but my family migrated to KL when I was 7. I went back to Singapore to work, and met my husband there. He was a Singaporean who studied in KL and was working in Singapore just like me (in fact, we went to the same University but never once spoke to each other!) and before we knew it – we were married.
We lived in Singapore for a while. But after we had our daughter Medina, my husband was offered a job back in KL. So off we went again! Since then, we’ve had another child Mikal join us and we’ve been raising our family in KL.
So, am I really raising my kids overseas? Kind of – since both my husband and I are were born in Singapore. But not quite either – since KL has been my home for over 20 years.
I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Having family back in Singapore and being close enough for them to share experiences, stories and lessons with me allows me to take in and learn as well. And then, where I see fit, I apply them to my own household. At the same time, I have amazing support from mums here in KL who I can depend on too.
Honestly, living in KL and in Singapore isn’t that much different – apart from the crazy competitive education system in the red dot. Really, the traditions are the same, culture is similar and well, food is more or less the same as well. But there are days, in between the milk bottles and the diapers and oh the mess to clean up all day, where I do wonder how things would be if we had stayed put in Singapore.
When I was pregnant with Mikal, we did consider giving birth to him in Singapore, just like we did for his sister before we moved. But alas, Covid19 made it impossible to keep traveling back and forth, so we had to deliver here in KL and then do the troublesome work of settling all the papers for his Singapore Citizenship. I think that’s the lowest downside for me – having to live as non-citizens in KL. Generally, we don’t get the same benefits as Malaysians do and it’s something we continually have to deal with. For example, our kids don’t have as many choices when it comes to schools because we can only apply to private institutions or international schools. We recently travelled back to Singapore for 2 months to meet up with family (thank you, VTL) and it was such a headache managing the VISAs for the kids! The regulations that apply to non-citizens are also different so it was challenging to keep up with.
Apart from that, I feel like I’m just as regular as most mums. I still google everything that happens to the kids while waiting for a manual on child-raising to magically land on my lap. The thing about kids is they grow and change. Hence, you have to grow and change along with them as well. After having two kids I’m still learning to be a mother.
I went from air-stewardess with Singapore Airlines to SAHM in KL very quickly. I had to leave my job the moment I found out I was pregnant and every major decision since then has been about the kids. My life now runs on routine and schedule, feeding bottles and meals, bathtime, bedtime and everything in between. KL is very much more chill, but Singapore does and will always have a piece of my heart.