Laid back, super chill and go-with-the flow.
Being from Singapore, these 3 descriptions do not really fit. But here in Western Australia, it is the way of life. It was a nice change, one of the easier parts of leaving my parents and family to move overseas. I haven’t flown over or seen them for 2 years (thank you, Covid) so I had to navigate through being married and now, being a new Mama all on my own.
I got married to my childhood crush end of December of 2019 and moved here 2 weeks later to join my new in-laws who have been here for 16 years. When we got pregnant, we got hold of our own place to make space for our beautiful baby boy who came into our lives 4 months ago.
Just thinking about how much I miss my family back home (yes, Singapore is still my home) makes that lump in my throat form. I grew up extremely close to my family and extended family, so being away from them is hard… very hard. Even though I knew marrying my husband meant moving down under, I along with the rest of the world never expected this pandemic and what it would eventually bring. I thought I would be okay because I’d be able to fly back and forth. Little did I know.
As heart-breaking as it was to bid farewell, it’s not all bad. Obviously, healthcare here is unbeatable. Giving birth did not cost anything, for one. Also, I love the peaceful atmosphere here – a break from the stressfulness that is Singapore.
Being a SAHM allows me to raise my child on my own, and I’m absolutely loving it. Days are built around my son’s routine, and yeah it took a while, but we figured out what works for us and it’s been amazing. Before I got married, I had been working since I was 16, and while I enjoyed that life very much, I don’t think I’d choose it over being a SAHM. At least not for now.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments when the baby is asleep and I’m watching TV where I catch myself wishing my mama was next to me on the couch or my siblings bickering in the background like the good ol’ days. They’ve since had new babies that I haven’t met, just as how they haven’t met mine. It’s really challenging. Some days are harder than others. Video calls are a life-saver but it’s not the same as being able to embrace your mother’s hug or even just have her pat your back when you accomplish something.
For example, I remember being afraid to take my son out alone. I don’t have any young-mama friends here in my area, so every step was really something I had to take on my own. I worried over everything: what if he cries, what if I can’t fold the stroller right, what if I need to breastfeed outside, what if something happens? All the anxiety and I didn’t have my mama to hold my hand go out that door with me.
Of course, I eventually overcame that fear and we’ve been out since. That’s when I realized that we women, we’re built differently. We’re strong and we really can do anything. We adapt, and we build our own systems to survive. We’re amazing, and no matter what, we’re the best people built for our perfect babies.