My kids were my most valuable assets. Not the ones I birthed, but my students. In the 7 years I spent as an MOE teacher, I taught every level in primary school, in all English-medium core subjects (English, Math and Science). Now, I am a SAHM of 3, aged 7 (Pri 1), 4 (N2) and 1.
Out of my entire teaching experience (which includes everything, really: lesson planning, resource building, setting exam papers, marking, classroom teaching, meet the parents’ session, etc.) the biggest takeaway that is now benefitting me at home, was from my interactions and relationships with my students.
Being in the service line, you have a duty of care to ensure the safety and wellbeing of other people’s kids. Even when said kid is testing your patience to the limit or when your own wellbeing is being compromised. You can imagine the value of exercising such restraint has when managing your own kids’ shenanigans at home (I mean, we all know this struggle too well).
Spending so much time with them also taught me to be more aware and sensitive to the emotional needs of children and how they would crave for attention in school if and when they lack it at home. It definitely gave me perspective both as a teacher and as a mother, and shaped my own idea of the kind of parent I would like to strive to be.
I consider myself someone who loves reading and learning, so it has always been a natural tendency for me to share my love with my kids. I’m definitely the main manager of all things learning/education related in my household, and right from get-go. It’s absolutely important to be involved in your child’s learning, because that’s really what parenting is, isn’t it? Children are constantly learning; to roll over, to walk and talk, to manage their emotions, to share, to read and write…
And where do they first learn these things? At home! Parents are their first supporters in their everyday achievements and milestones. My decision to stay home and raise my children is precisely hinged on that desire to be present for my kids. To witness that every failure and struggle, to encourage them and to build resilience in those miniature versions of myself.
Although sometimes I feel like I live and breathe learning, I don’t mandate learning activities at home. My approach is always to offer options, and then go with their readiness. Some days they’re just tired or not in the mood, so I shelve the activity for another time. Most days, they are receptive when I employ my “mama advantage”. I mean, who else knows better what they like and what won’t work? For example, when I want my daughter to work on her scissor skills, I print out Shimmer and Shine characters, and offer her the cutting activity. When I want my eldest to practice his numeracy skills, I take out subtraction puzzle cards, or Lego blocks or a mini whiteboard, and ask which way he would like to play. It almost always works when it’s framed as play. They really are just kids, after all!
Everything can be a game. The trip to the library is a long-awaited reward. We read daily (sometimes to the point of boredom and frustration on my part, having to read the same. Thing. Over. And over. Again.) and we make learning habits a part of our daily routine. My children basically grew up in a resource filled “let’s play” themed home. Now that they are a little older and doing seat work in school, I’ve set up a corner in their room for them to have access to learning and writing material, for them to browse and help themselves to whenever they feel like it. Child-initiated rather than mama-initiated as far as possible.
I really have mad respect for parents who take the time and effort to curate self-made learning activities tailored to their children’s learning needs and preferences. This used to be something I did as part of my job. As a SAHM, I depend heavily on readily available resources, learning manipulatives, or toys my kids already have and turn them into teaching tools. Because let’s be real: staying home with three kids, a household to manage and no outside help, leaves me with little time to myself, much less work on lesson creation so I need what’s already out there on the glorious world wide web.
My go-to? Colouring! When I’m pressed for time and need my kids to be occupied independently, I ask them what pictures they would like to colour (or draw or paint or cut out). Google images, print. BAM! 20 minutes of peace.
If you’re a new mum (SAHM or not), and you’re feeling pressured about providing a solid learning environment at home (society can do that sometimes, what more with social media and the constant comparisons, unfortunately), don’t be! Remember that you’re already playing the biggest role in your child’s learning! Depending on your child’s age, I would really recommend buying good resources and manipulatives that would facilitate long term learning activities. Really browse carefully and consider possibilities offered by that tool before diving in. For example, a bag of Mega Blocks go a long way: you can use the blocks to teach various skills like stacking, colour sorting, size comparison, addition, subtraction. And all of it can be framed as playing. Flash cards are well and good, but you can pair them with other resources like magnets, posters, and encourage matching. Match these upper-case letter flash cards with the lower-case letters on this poster. There’s literally a world of resources available, and all you need is to use them to your favour to be involved in your children’s learning.
Photo by Aishah Alkaff.