I am constantly inspired by the women around me – not just SAHMs – because their stories always have very strong motivations and reasons. But perhaps most inspiring to me are SAHMs who are also entrepreneurs, or mumpreneurs.
Nabila runs The Islamic Gift Store by Umm ‘Alwy while caring for her two young children at home. Her Instagram page @ummalwy has almost 12k followers and get this – she’s flying the ship solo.
Having always had a love for children, Nabila worked in several different preschools and childcares whilst pursuing short courses in Early Childhood, as well as Arabic Studies. Venturing into mumpreneurship was an unplanned, spontaneous decision she plunged into a few months after having her son.
EM: Hello Nabila! Tell us how long have you been a SAHM, and what the motivation was behind it.
N: For as long as I’ve been a mother! I resigned from my full-time teaching position immediately after the birth of my son. After a short stint trying to work weekends with my infant in tow, plus the start of the pandemic, I decided to focus completely on my family as well as building my small business.
Being a SAHM was a decision I had in mind even before marriage. It was a criteria for me then that my husband-to-be would be comfortable with me staying at home if we had children during their preschool years. It was something I would openly talk about with my colleagues and even my former superiors.
But it was really my experience as a preschool teacher that shaped my perception of motherhood and the weight of its role. I recall asking a former student the age-old “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“A mummy.”
“Besides that?” I asked her again.
She looked confused, and a little bit frustrated, but replied “I want to be a mummy!”
Perhaps that 5-year-old knew that being a mother is not merely a title a person takes on after having children. It is a role, a duty and really, it is a job, with a string of responsibilities that no other one person can take on. Eventually my career around children convinced me that being physically present with my own would be the best option for them, believing that no one could possibly care, nurture or educate my children better than me – their mother.
EM: Tell us in 3 words what it’s like being a SAHM and a business owner.
N: “Challenging”, “exhausting”, yet “fulfilling”.
EM: What’s a typical day like?
N: I try to divide the days of my week into two; “order-fulfilment” days where I dedicate several hours into packing orders and other strenuous duties like unpacking bulky parcels of imported goods, and “house chores” days whereby I focus on laundry, cleaning and cooking. Any accounting or administrative work would either be multi-tasked during nursing sessions or pushed till the end of the day after the kids go to sleep.
EM: What are some of your struggles being a SAHM and running your own business? How do you overcome them?
N: I struggle with the invisibility of the work load of these two positions and the fact that both roles are very much under-valued and under-appreciated. Perhaps it is the problem of the terminologies attached to these two roles; “stay-at-home mother” which tends to depict a mother resting leisurely at home and “small business owner” which implies something easy or not substantial enough to be an actual job.
I’ve been often questioned similarly about these two positions: “are you just staying at home?” and “are you just doing your business?” or “you should go back to working or pursuing a career” like as though I’m not already working: multi-tasking the roles as the main caregiver of my children and the sole proprietor of an online store.
To which, I often smile and laugh in response – knowing that it is perhaps due to the ignorance of how heavy and challenging juggling both roles are. We are talking about having few hours of sleep some nights just to get things done!
Unfortunately, because a lot of our work goes unseen, it may seem like we don’t need help. Quite frankly, there are days that I contemplate getting a job outside like before, thinking that perhaps with a more “visible” job I would then get more help and appreciation from the people around me.
I overcome these thoughts by constantly reminding myself of the reason behind the choices that I have made; my children.
EM: You get 2 wishes. What would they be?
N: Lots of sleep and lots of chocolate! On a more serious note, it would be a reliable and trustworthy “village” to help me with the children occasionally and a community that gives SAHMs the respect they truly deserve.
EM: Share with us your most favourite memory since being a SAHM so far.
N: Whenever my son would tell me something along the lines of “Mama, I love you. You do everything for me,” or “Mama, you’re a sweetheart. You bathe me, you feed me…” and he’d go on and on! He may or may not remember these years on, but it is comforting to know that he sees and appreciates the things I do for him on a daily basis.
EM: What do you hope your children would learn from growing up watching you run a business from home?
N: I hope they would learn to strive to do the ultimate best they can in everything.
EM: What are you glad you have now, as compared to back when your mum was raising you and didn’t have?
N: I have to say it’s the presence of the online world that was not present in our parents’ time. I really appreciate that we are now able to order food or “hail” a taxi literally within our fingertips. Additionally, with the online world there are alternative streams of income that a SAHM like myself could tap into, just like how I opened an online store. I’m able to attend meetings on zoom at the comfort of my home and communicate with suppliers and manufacturers across the globe without having to travel or fly on a plane.
EM: What does success look like to you?
N: Success to me is contentment – if I’m happy with where I am or what I’m doing, that’s enough for me even if it may not fit in the definition of success to others.
EM: What would you want to say to other Mamas who are considering being a SAHM but are a little hesitant to take that step?
N: You don’t have to do everything just because you can. Chances are, you will never be able to give your absolute all to your career or family life anyway and it may take a toll on your physical and mental health. I believe stress has its ways of showing up in our bodies. There was a particular period of time whereby I over-exerted myself in growing my business. Although the hard work resulted in greater earnings, it impacted my health and I had to rush over to A&E twice within a month. I then decided to prioritise my health, working at a steady pace and taking breaks whenever I feel I need to.
Remember that your child’s early years are priceless and you’d want to make the best out of it. It is still possible for any of us SAHMs to return to working outside again in future. Also, it’s really OK to take it one day at a time – you don’t have to have everything figured out immediately and it is possible to find alternatives along the road. If you’re not financially capable of leaving your job entirely yet, it could still be a goal you can work towards. I know a few who had to work for several years whilst growing a side hustle before becoming a full-time SAHM, other ladies who opt for part-time or freelance jobs that are less demanding and then there are others like myself, who work from home either through running a home-based business or employment with flexible arrangements. Whatever it is, find out what works best for you and then go for it!
Photo from Nabila.
Hey there, I’m Nabila! I run The Islamic Gift Store by Umm ‘Alwy, an online-based store selling a variety of faith-inspired gifts and products such as prayer essentials, books, apparels and more! Head over to www.ummalwy.com to find out more!
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