It’s been a rather hectic past few days and I haven’t had the time to really sit down and blog. But tonight seems like an opportunity so I shall quickly grab it. Alhamdulillah I managed to terawih (albeit with the camera at the side in case N wakes up) on my own since H is away at work. May this be the start of a peaceful night.
Weather has been much better since the start of Ramadhan. It had been scorching hot for weeks on end but rain has come to cool us all down while we spend our days fasting. Our air-conditioning is still bust, so we’re still living with the fans but the much chillier nights have made things more bearable.
Last Ramadhan was the first time in my whole life that I was fasting and breaking my fast not with my family, not in that house. Worse, H was working that first night and so there I was all pregnant and all alone at the dining table waiting for the azan. I was so emotional I think I teared. It just felt really weird to be away from them, not have my usual view, not have the usual conversations, not arguing about who has to do the dishes this time. And I didn’t have H to make me feel better either.
It made me reminisce. We’d have all the 5 mugs lined up on the counter waiting to be filled up with respective orders of hot drinks. Everyone wanted something different. We’d all help to set the table, and someone would go get the remote for the radio so we can turn it off without getting up. We’d be talking throughout the meal because handphones were discouraged from the table, until my dad would rush us off for prayers. I remember us squeezing into my room to do terawih together because it was the room with the most space (+ air-conditioning). And the sneaky faces after the 4th set, that I’ll never forget.
I guess it’s time for me to make my own new normals with my own family.
This year, H was working that first night too but I wasn’t alone because I had this little human who calls me mama (ok, she can’t really call me anything just yet) babbling away at my side. We’ve adjusted her routine a little bit around our schedule for iftar since she usually heads to bed around 7pm.
She now gets dinner a little earlier (5.30-6pm) so that I have time after that to be in the kitchen. On nights he’s home, H then gives her a quick shower (else it’s me) and then she sits with us at the dining table usually chomping down a biscuit or two while we break our fast.
Then she heads to bed by 8pm.
If only she stays asleep till 7am, har har. Who am I kidding, she has already woken up four times sine she went down.
It’s my first Ramadhan as a mama and I have to admit, I was a little anxious leading up to it. I was worried about my supply and my energy level (and my patience because let’s be honest, hungry mama = tired mama = angry mama). I prepared very well. I ordered a carton of kurma milk and bought oats and lactation brownies. I really wanted to make sure I could still nurse N the same way.
So far it seems to be going okay. She does fuss but nothing more than usual.
With #Covid19 and the new regulations and precautions here in Singapore, Eid is officially cancelled. I have to say, I’m half thankful, because now I don’t have to worry about things like outfits, cleaning, baking, being out all day and messing up her naps. Maybe if I’m up to it I might cook some Eid dishes to share with the neighbours but other than that, it looks like it’ll be just another day.
Ramadhan Mubarak to all of you! And if you’re a mama observing the fasting month, I posted a little something for you on my Instagram 🙂