“Come on, Joshua. Let’s go!”
My toddler goes to school for most of the day, while his 13-month-old brother Jasper stays home with me. I have always wanted a family, and I have always dreamt of being a mum as I love kids. For as long as I can remember, I was always the girl who would be happy to babysit other people’s kids (although let me tell you, raising your own is an entirely different ballgame altogether).
I was born in Canada, raised mostly in Hong Kong and the UK (where my husband is from) and we’ve recently moved to Singapore. I moved around a lot growing up, so packing my bags to head to a different country is never really a big deal. Plus, being a Eurasian family and having relatives in different parts of the world, living in different countries is somewhat a part of it all.
Is it a big difference raising kids in Hong Kong and in Singapore? Not really, actually I would even say moving here was easy to adapt to. There are cultural similarities, and thankfully both are very convenient countries (easy commute, affordable hired help, food and grocery can be delivered to your doorstep). We do find Singapore is more children-friendly in general, however. And the biggest advantage Singapore has over Hong Kong is the space and living environment. Having the extra space and being in a greener environment has done wonders for our family. The boys are happier too – they love being outside!
The downside? Language. I want the boys to know Cantonese which is one of the languages I grew up with, so I have to up my game and speak more Cantonese to them as I am their only exposure to it now. Also, I do have to admit I miss Cantonese food. The Cantonese food here tastes… different, haha!
Having had a multi-cultural upbringing myself definitely benefits my third-culture boys. Being a strong believer in balance and knowing that every culture has something different to offer, I want my kids to experience the best of the East and the West. My parenting style is definitely a mixture of both, especially when it comes to education. For example, I believe learning should be fun, exploratory, and creative, yet there should still be structure so children still learn discipline and boundaries. Perhaps you can say my experiences in the many different countries back then allows me to now adopt what I like, and omit what I don’t when it comes to raising my own children. A bonus, I suppose, something I will always be thankful for.
Being a mum, stay-home or not, is not easy and we all know it. I find it a tiny bit more challenging to do it in Singapore only because we don’t exactly have family here. Most of them are actually back in Hong Kong, England and France. To stay connected, we just try to Facetime whenever we can, so at least the boys recognise them.
For my boys, they inevitably will experience festivities like Chinese New Year and Christmas differently compared to when I was younger, but that is also to be expected as third-culture kids. At least, I’ve managed to find my own group of mums who are in the same situation as me, and I’ve found the support system I need.
Yes, it does take a village to raise children, but I’ve realised that the village doesn’t necessarily have to be family – especially when you’re moving around a lot.