My Kids Are In Childcare So I Can Work (At Home)

It’s 8.30 in the morning. I’m sitting alone in my kitchen with my cup of coffee. The house is quiet – both kids are already in school – but I hear their laughter and chatter faintly in my head. I was with them just an hour ago but I already miss them. Motherhood, right?

By noon, I’ve completed packing orders from the night before, replied emails and settled payment notifications. As I put together my grilled chicken lunch, I say out loud: “Imagine if the kids were home.”

Prior to 2021, I did have them home with me. Nadya (now 6) went to Kindergarten for 4 hours, and Raees (now 3) was in Playgroup for 2 hours. I had them at home with me the rest of the day. And I remember clearly what that was like. 

It was madness. Blissful on some days, but usually madness.

I remember having to convince myself that spending an hour sending them off then having barely 2 hours to myself before having to spend another hour picking them up was for the best. I had to tell myself that it was something that just had to be done. Even if it meant not getting to sit down while I scramble to get work sorted, chores done and lunch on the stove before the kids get home. I remember how cranky it made me. And I remember the look on my kids’ faces each time I snapped at them simply because I was in over my head. 

While I loved working around my kids and having them banter behind me all day, I (thankfully) realised that being a good mom doesn’t necessarily mean I have to be around them 100% of the time. In fact, even though I was home with them at that time, I wasn’t really with them because I was working. 

So we eventually decided to send both of them to childcare which meant from 8am-5pm I would be without them. Initially, I thought being away from them for the majority of the day, 5 days a week, would weaken our bond. I mean, I was no longer the one putting them down for their naps, bringing them to the toilet, passing them snacks… the things a normal SAHM should be doing. I thought they would love me less. 

But now, on the contrary, I think they love me more. 

Sending them to childcare allowed me to reclaim control over my time. My to-do list was no longer in charge of me – it was the other way round, as it should be. I no longer work till the wee hours, which means I get proper rest and I’m not on edge in the morning with the kids. I can schedule rest-time whenever I feel I need to recharge and reconnect with myself. I can step out and shop for toys to surprise them with after school. I am finally me again, and that’s the best version of mom for my kids. 

Before they went to childcare, I relied heavily on the television. Nadya was lucky, I had more time to spend with her. But with Raees, business was getting busier and handling two kids on top of that was almost impossible for me. Of course, #momguilt slowly crept in. Comparing the one-to-one time I had with Nadya and the lack of it with Raees was one of the main reasons why sending him to childcare too was necessary. 

People don’t outrightly judge me for sending my kids away all day, thankfully. Sometimes I get the “but he’s still so young and you’re at home” comment but it’s easier now to face them because I know I am doing what’s best for my family. 

I treat my WAHM life just as it would be if I were a FTWM. I set boundaries, I set a schedule and I only work when it’s time to work. So if FTWMs can send their kids away because they need to work, WAHMs should be able to do the same too right? 

Did I ever think I’d be that mom? In more ways than one, yes. My bossy nature when I was a young adult led me naturally towards being a business owner and not having to travel to and fro an office for work is just a plus point. And while I love having my alone time in the day to work, I’d never imagine having an office away from my kids (at least not until I run out of space at home). 

If I weren’t a business owner, and instead a full-time SAHM, I’d probably keep my kids at home with me forever. But I know I can’t be a SAHM entirely. My hands get too itchy. Besides, Netflix all day sounds fun until you get bored of it! 

Nowadays, I know that whatever alone time I have with my kids are precious because it’s limited so I make sure I am 100% present with them. And because they spend so much time in school without me, they’re usually bubbling with excitement full of stories and experiences to share with me.

Sending my kids to childcare was one of the best decisions I’ve made for my family. Two years ago it was never in the plans. But being a mom has taught me that we must condition ourselves to be able to accept that sometimes things can take a different route – and that it’s okay. In my case, it was for the better! So if you’re a SAHM wondering if it’s really doable to start a business and work at home, it totally is! I’m not saying you’d have to ship your kids to school all day, but I will say 1) ensure you have a good solid emotional support system, 2) make planning a habit and 3) surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who will distract you from those downplay your efforts.

Photo from Dear Dyan.

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