We’ve all heard it. We’ve read it. We’ve subconsciously prepared ourselves to implement it. I know I did. As early as a month postpartum, I was already trying to put together a routine for N and myself. With things like medication, bath time and my postnatal massage, I felt like I really had to create some sort of order to follow everyday. Or maybe it’s just who I am. I need order (*ahem*MonicaGeller*ahem*).
N turned 3 months yesterday and while I try hard to stick to a routine, it just isn’t possible everyday. Yes we get the same stuff done, but I can’t say they’re done at the same time. For example, she doesn’t have a fixed bath time, or reading time, or even nap time. She takes a bath in the morning when she’s awake enough (or rather when I’m awake enough). She naps whenever she’s tired enough (frequency and duration varies). We read when she’s in the mood (or I’ve exhausted all other ways to entertain her). These three main things get done everyday, but just not in a consistent pattern.
Is that bad?
There are articles that promote fixed routines as a form of structure for your baby. I get it. It sounds legit. And those of you who manage to lay that out and stick to it, good for you! But I just don’t feel like I can force a shower at 8.30am every morning, naps at noon, 2pm and 5pm with a reading session in between. I already latch-on-demand, so that should say something about how I approach fixed activities and rigid schedules.
The way I see it, and what I do currently, is that I can create a routine but I can also keep it loose. Every morning I make 3 lists in my head: the Mama list, the N list and the Home list. Of course the Mama list has all the stuff I want to get done that day like check my emails, post that photo, cut my nails, SHOWER etc. All the chores go under the Home list – laundry, cooking, watering the plants, etc. And the N list is all the stuff she has to do (read: all the stuff I have to do for/with her). I spend a few seconds every morning forming those lists in my head before I get up, and they change as I go through the day. Then by 9pm when N is in deep sleep for the night, I mentally cross off what I achieved and take note of what I left out – these get pushed over to tomorrow’s list.
I feel like a robot but that’s how I stay on top of things. #Judge or #DontJudge, up to you.
Day in, day out it’s that’s life as I know it now.