When I decided not to return to work after my daughter was born, I knew that what it meant. I knew I was giving up my free time, my alone time, my financial independence, my free will even. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to be just me anymore.
I accepted the fact that my personal life, dreams and goals would have to be paused now that I chose to focus on my child. And I was fine with it. In fact it never really bothered me at all.
At the back of my mind I knew I had dreams I wanted to achieve. I knew I didn’t want my husband to have to support me forever. I knew that I didn’t want to be left with nothing for myself once my kids were all grown up and on their own lives.
But I was okay with not being able to work on them right now.
And that was where motherhood and being a SAHM proved me wrong. I always thought that going out to work was the only way your child could understand and see that you have a job and that you’re hustling. Looking back at it now, isn’t it sad that we’ve been teaching our children that mama working = mama being away from you?
Spending my days with her was great because she got to see me manage the household (read: keep the home together). And then I realised that I was in the perfect situation to teach my daughter that work doesn’t always equate to “office” or “leaving the home”. It doesn’t always have to be “Mama went off to work” because work can be done in the playroom while having tea from a plastic cup with stuffed toys all around the table.
Why did I think my dreams and my “work” had to be put on hold? Why did I think I couldn’t possibly do them concurrently?
In actual fact, being a SAHM gave me the flexibility to work on my own time. I was in charge of my working hours, working attire, working environment. I could choose not to work, to work extra, to split my work throughout the day.
Apart from that, seeing how I got around motherhood and being a SAHM – how I managed my time, etc – was admittedly quite encouraging. I learnt a lot of things and picked up a few skills from staying home with my daughter that I can use to work towards achieving my dreams: resourcefulness, planning, forward-thinking, trusting my gut, to name a few.
So as I work on everydaymama.co these days, I find myself thanking the 2019 me who decided to stay home. She was prepared to KIV her dreams because of it but instead that decision was what led her to start after all.
Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash