All the challenges, the downs, the “What’s-the-point”s, the crying in the toilet, the staring out the window at normal people… it doesn’t make you a bad Mama. Well, it certainly doesn’t make you worse than any of us – cos we all go through it too.
I’ve listed below some of the common feelings I’ve heard SAHMs say, plus my own, and as you read the list I’m 100% sure you will be able to relate to at least some. And so, know that you’re not alone. That we all feel it too. And we will all overcome them one day at a time.
- Bored – from having the same kind of days over and over.
- Socially starving – from the lack of adult conversation.
- Overwhelmed – with the unexpectedness that is rearing little humans.
- Touched out.
- Unheard – no one asks how you are.
- Unseen – no one recognises the work you do.
- Being answerable to every small financial spend – because you don’t earn that money anymore.
- Pressurised – from seeing all the “exemplary moms” on social media.
- Tired – because you can’t catch a break.
- Wanting to do more but not having the energy or time for it.
- Overloaded mentally – there’s just so many things in your head.
- Resentment – because expectations you have of your partner are not met.
- Annoyed – for having to do everything, all the time.
- Being on-call 24/7 because even if someone else can do it, Mama’s always the first call.
- Attacked – because all kinds of comments come all the time from all kinds of people.
- Unsupported – because people make you feel guilty for staying home.
- Momguilt.
- Missing out – your friends are going places, doing things while you’re at home.
- Disconnected – because you’re secluded from society.
- Lack of contentment – because you’re always thinking you’re not doing enough.
- Underachieving – because there’s always leftover work at the end of the day.
- Not mentally stimulated – because ABCs are boring after a while.
While these feelings can be addressed by having conversations with the relevant people (i.e. partner, extended family, friends), nothing’s to say that they’re not legit or uncalled for.
Being a SAHM, especially during a pandemic, is not easy. But know this: each time you’re up late at night struggling to put your baby or toddler back to sleep, while everyone else is in deep slumber, there’s another Mama somewhere out there looking out her own window thinking she’s alone too.
Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash