My baby,
So here we are. You’re one. You made one whole year around the sun. 365 days of you being in this world, learning and growing and becoming your own little person. You flipped over, then you shot your butt up, then you started crawling and now you’re walking all over the house on your two little feet.
My baby, you don’t need me to bring you to your toys anymore. You don’t need me to pick you up when you tumble. You eat on your own and you sleep in your own room. While I am proud to be raising such an independent little girl, some days I just wish you were still tiny. When you lie on my lap to nurse I feel how big you’ve gotten and some days I can’t help but remember how snug you felt in the crook of my elbow.
My baby, I had to learn everything from scratch with you. How to breastfeed, how to burp, how to soothe, how to dress you even. You were all my firsts, and I know in many years to come you’ll continue giving me my firsts simply because you’re my firstborn.
My baby, there were nights that I held you, rocked you, sang to you, while we were both in tears. There were nights I screamed and lost it. Those were the nights I was exhausted, exasperated and desperate. I will never ever forget those nights, because those were the nights I questioned myself and wondered if I would ever be a good enough mama for you. I set such high expectations of myself because you deserve the best – you always will.
My baby, thank you for making me a mama. There’s no other job in the world that would make me this honoured, this empowered, this determined and this hardworking. Thank you for giving my life a renewed meaning. Thank you for whole year of memories. And lessons. And laughs. And good days and tough days.
My baby, I dreamt of you years ago, way before I knew what it meant. I imagined having you in my life even before I had my own life put together. So trust in me when I say I will never take advantage of what I have. I promise to always work hard to be the best mama I can be for you.
Love,
Mama